In our homeschool, we are studying early colonization. We have been reading about those who came to this country because of religious persecution. Most often that persecution occurred when the political (and personal) agendas of the rulers mandated how its citizens could worship. Arguably, our country was also founded by those with profit in mind. No doubt there was abuse against those who lived here before Europeans arrived and those who would be brought to this country against their will and forced to work this land for the wealth of others not themselves. We have fought wars to gain our constitutional freedom for our right to live under our own governance, to establish our own nation, to free those whose rights were ignored, to give land to those who had it stolen. Sometimes we have succeeded, and more often we have failed. But, the goal to maintain our human rights has been behind our drive to fight for not just our country’s freedom, but also the freedoms of other countries.

I learned about this goal while attending public school. My husband also attended public school. Up until this school year, two of our three children attended public school. So why are we home educating? It is not because we desired a solely religious curriculum for our children, although that is a benefit of homeschooling we enjoy. It is not because of political opinions, although we take time to discuss current events with our boys to help them make wise decisions and to be contributing citizens. It is because a system promising to provide the best education for our children failed. We watched our eight-year-old autistic child collapse further and further into self-deprecating behavior because an educator referred to his best effort in a derogatory way. We realized our ten-year-old was being bullied on the playground without any teacher intervention. In both cases, we as parents had to intervene. We wanted public education to work for our children. But, unfortunately, we found that public education isn’t working for every student.

In light of why we chose to homeschool and what we have been studying this week, I am saddened, frustrated, and concerned to hear about the recent court decision in California to make homeschooling in that state illegal without specific credentials. Although my family is not directly affected, I know that rulings like this can cause ramfications in other states. More importantly, this ruling could force many California families doing what is best for their children to send them into a system that may not meet their educational needs. I saw the tear-filled eyes of my oldest son when he heard of this news. I heard him ask “Where is our freedom?” In the coming days, I hope my answer will be our nation’s leaders remembered our country was founded by many seeking a new start and a better way of life for their children. I hope I will never have to tell him “I wish I knew.”

For more information: http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/ca/200803030.asp

Last week I met with one of my book clubs to discuss a favorite classic, Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. I first read this book three or four years ago. It can be somewhat daunting to reread books, especially suspense novels once the "who done it" is revealed. But, there is more to Rebecca than a murder mystery because of its characterization and its setting. There is something about a heroine without a first name. There is something about an austere, melancholy man who woes a nobody-woman into marrying him after a few drives in his car. There is something about an enchanting woman so many admired who dies mysteriously. There is something about a suspicious, grieving maidservant that exhales her chilling words through the page. There is something about Manderley, the beautiful estate of secrets. There is even more to say about the transformation of each character throughout, for all suspense stories should protray characters who are not what they seem. Some may say this book is like so many others, perhaps predictable. Yet, it may be argued that others have been inspired by Du Maurier's plot. But, then again she may have borrowed a few elements from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. (Incidentally, Jane Eyre was the first classic I read as a child. I read it again recently and rekindled that first love.) Either way, there is something about this story, something timeless, troubling, and delciously thrilling. If you have never read it, do! And read Jane Eyre while you're at it!

To those who have read The Last Time We Were Children, I would greatly appreciate reviews posted on Amazon and GoodReads. I know your positive feedback will encourage others to read my book and inspire me as I work on my current manuscript. Thank you in advance for your comments and support!

From my sweet hubby!

As I suspected, Astonishments is fast becoming one of my favorite books! The last quarter of the book is dog-eared on nearly every page. I especially connect with her spiritual poems. It is a joy to read her progression of faith. Up until the last, she wrote of God as evident by "On the Cross," her last poem written days before her death. The excerpts from The Notebook are also quite profound and allow access into her personal thoughts, struggles, and revelations. I especially like "A Witness to Process" given the approach of another Easter. Her line breaks are critical to the meaning of the poem and make the emphatic that much more powerful. I won't ruin the impact by quoting from it. It is a must-read in its original form.

My youngest on an ice fishing outing with Dad.

My eleven-year-old took these! Except for the last one. :)

My oldest son has been studying changes in ecosystems this week. The definition of "stress" is a good one. "A stress is any physical hazard to life caused by having too much or too little of things needed for life" (Science 5, BJU Press, p. 202). Friday morning, I was reading about how we are created for balance in Debbie Macomber's Knit Together. Much of this chapter focuses on what we need to do to maintain balance, which in turn means avoid stress. My week started out full of stress--mostly created by my own unmet expectations--and ended surprisingly calm. Why? Perhaps because I adapted as do most living things when faced with stress. Perhaps I used my God-given instincts better on Thursday than I did on Monday. Perhaps I realized that survival isn't always a battle but a means of grace. There is something gratifying about work done and done well. No doubt. But, there is something altogether soothing about taking a day away with people we love and enjoying an outing. I have taken my boys to the zoo many times, but I have never enjoyed it more than I did this week. Watching my oldest take pictures. Seeing my boys clap for a leaping dolphin. Letting them have that last treat for the long ride home. Yes, life can be much like a zoo. But, sometimes the best thing is to enjoy it for the visit it is and see it for all its beauty and variety. Not too much. Not too little. Just enough.

I have been reading Astonishments by Anna Kamienska at the suggestion of my mentor Jim Moore (author of Lightning at Dinner). A few of these poems touched specific parts of my life this week. "Small Things" so resonates with my biggest struggle this week: too many things. As she lists all the small things like laundry, sewing, slicing bread, she says "It comes out of toil out of care/out of immense fatigue in the evening/out of a tear wiped away/out of a prayer broken off in mid-word by sleep//It's not from the grand/but from every tiny thing/that grows enormous/as if Someone was building Eternity/as a swallow its nest/out of clumps of moments" Those spoke to the mother's heart within me. As did this line from "Mothers": "Mothers are the light above each head/If they suddenly departed/only empty chairs would be left" In case there are any other mothers out there who feel unappreciated as I do at times, hopefully those words will encourage us otherwise!

There are several more poems, like "A Prayer That Will Be Answered," "Emmaus," "The Empty Places, and "Annunciation," that I love as well. Although I haven't finished the book, I already count it as a favorite!

In studying animals this week, my boys and I learned that the groundhog usually hybernates until March. This gave me new appreciation for poor Punxsutawney Phil, who is most likely rudely awakened annually.

Not to take anything away from Phil, but February 2 holds greater meaning for me. My maternal grandfather was born on February 2, 1922 in the middle of a blizzard in Luck, WI. The last birthday we celebrated with him was in 2002 (02-02-2002). He pass away on July 31, 2002, which he had predicted; he figured he would die from his 10-year cancer bout by August. But, then he was always good at figuring. Perhaps he and Punxsutawney Phil have more in common than I thought. 

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

One of my book club's met last night to discuss The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun with Paul Hattaway. This is the true story of a man who suffered years of imprisonment in China for his Christian beliefs. It's a stunningly intense, detailed account, one I had to digest over several weeks. What shocks me most is that this man went through all this within the last three decades, and that he is still alive! I highly recommend this book to anyone who has become complacent in their faith or who needs to understand what Chinese Christians endure on a daily basis for their faith.

One of the accounts struck a personal chord with me. While preaching in Canada, Brother Yun received word that a Christian American journalist had printed an article claiming, basically, that all the events of Yun's life were fabrications. It also revealed the whereabouts of his family who were seeking refuge outside China. All this hurt Brother Yun terribly, and he didn't understand why the journalist didn't seek the truth about him by contacting him or reading documents from his organization. His translator told him, "'Brother Yun, these people don't want to know the truth. That's why they're not calling you or wanting to meet you. In China, Christians are persecuted with beatings and imprisonment. In the West, Christians are persecuted by the words of other Christians.'" (See pages 306-309) In other words, Chinese Christians are persecuted by their government who does not believe in Christ as Savior. American Christians are persecuted by the words of those who claim the same faith, who if asked would say they strive to be more Christ-like. What message are we sending to believers of other countries, visitors that walk into our own churches, members we sit next to and shakes hands with every week when we do not seek to know the truth about each other, spread vicious lies, and then claim piety and devotion to the cross? I have experienced both sides of this. The pain of hurting a fellow believer by speaking out of turn is no less painful than being verbally chastised by someone claiming to be my brother or sister in Christ. So for myself and those who love Christ I hope we will "encourage one another, as long as it is called Today, so that none of [us] may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness" (Hebrews 3:13 NIV). "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds." (Hebrews 10:24 NIV) Lord, make it so!